Life Lesson #37: If you screw someone, bend over because Karma's a bitch.

Some days you come across a piece of information that just makes you pause and go, "Wow." Today just as I wrapping up my long and surprisingly semi-productive day at work, a friend got on Facebook and started a conversation with: I have a very very interesting story to tell you.
I hate when people give you a lead-in like that and don't follow through on it. If someone says to me, "I have to ask you a question but I don't want to ask you now, I'm eating and I don't want that visual" (that's an actual direct quote, by the way, from Bear this weekend) I go NUTS because he proceeds to wait 45 minutes before asking me the question. Really? Why not just wait to mention the question until you want to ask it?! If I tell you, "OHMYGOD I heard the best bit of gossip about your boyfriend! But I don't want to say anything in case it might not be true," then proceed to leave you hanging, I believe you have the right to kick my ass. Thankfully, I was not left to wonder on this particular story...
Jezebel is a girl that I have worked with for the past two years, have been friends with approximately 6 months of those two years and have disliked for 6 months of those two years. She was supposed to co-host Princess Buttercup's local bachelorette party with me, ditched at the last minute leaving me with the full bill as well as no excuse or message telling me she wasn't showing up. She also has a, ahem, tendency to sleep around, mainly with people we work with. She also has a severe case of Verbal Diarrhea. Buttercup and I have yet to make a final decision on whether or not she's vindictive or just plain stupid. I believe it's a lethal combination of both. For some reason I, or any woman I know, have yet to define why men like her. She is not ugly nor is she attractive. She has a nice body but not overwhelming. She's not bright, not a good conversationalist, has a mouth like a pirate and what's the point of sleeping with someone who's slept with all of your buddies? Oooo maybe she's sort of a hazing lay, now as f*ed up as that sounds that would actually make more sense then men being attracted to her.

Any way, apparently Jezebel slept with Beardsley (see Character page) during a work trip. Not only was this inappropriate because it was a work function but Jezebel is also in a serious, committed relationship with a WONDERFUL kind hearted guy who is somehow clueless to her skanky ways. He doesn't believe in sex before marriage, she doesn't believe in giving up sex. How her boyfriend doesn't know what's going on is beyond me, maybe he thinks he can save her? Maybe he's so wrapped up in his job that he doesn't notice? Well it's going to be hard to ignore it now because Jezebel and Beardsley were sloppy, they got caught and now every one's talking. *insert evil laugh here*

The reason I am taking such, yes I admit, pleasure in their f*ing f* up is that both have screwed me over in the past and once on the same thing. Back in the day when Jezebel and I were friends (before I knew what a skank she was), she pushed me towards Beardsley, saying that she thought we'd make a great couple. At this point, I knew that they had already slept together but it was when they were both single and they both had agreed to only be bed buddies so I didn't see anything wrong with it, especially since I had a major crush on Beardsley. One night, not long after first discussing my crush with Jezebel, we all went out together and I ended up in Beardsley's bed. We slept together but not after talking about how we'd take things slow due to Gus and our work. Yeah, only a week later all communication between the two of us stopped thanks to Beardsley. To this day I don't know what happened although he came up with some bullshit excuse THREE MONTHS later, yup the jackass left me hanging for three months, just walked by my office with his head hung low and making no eye contact. I was heart broken. We had become good friends, he was a highlight of my day, breaking my ennui with humor and lots of laughs. Suddenly, I had no friend, no one to text late at night and no reason why. Jackass. I had told TWO people about that night and only two people, Jezebel and Princess Buttercup. I know it wasn't Princess Buttercup who spilled but apparently someone did or at least that was the excuse Beardsley was using. He's a "private man" who doesn't "like his personal affairs aired at work". I assumed than and still do that it was Jezebel who blabbed to people about the two of us. Of course, I could never prove it and things have only proceeded to get more and more awkward between Beardsley and myself. I have to wonder if they weren't still sleeping together than as they are apparently now.
Skank. Jackass.
So yes, I take pleasure in the fact that they are both complete MORONS and they got caught with their pants down. So much for your private life, eh Jackass?