I bet you came here thinking I'd have a page devoted to quotes by famous intellects. You shouldn't assume, you know what they say...it makes you an ass. Instead, here are quotes from my actual day-to-day life. Some I've said, the witty ones are mine, and others I've had the pleasure of overhearing. Enjoy!
PS I slipped and fell into X's bed last night. Gotta stop wearing flip flops :)
Doesn't know his own name but he knows his balls!
Do you ever just stop and look at me and think, 'God, she's beautiful?'
Shane, you got a DUI.
-Yeah, I know!
As seen on a package of marshmallows: WARNING: Choking hazard! Eat one at a time while sitting down. Children should be supervised by parents while consuming.