Life Lesson #73: If you are going to say stupid things, prepare to be mocked. Relentlessly.

Minions, I recently went back to college. This is my, um, hold on, let me think, fourth? go around at a degree. That's not the point here. The point is, kids these days are stupid. I don't mean they can't solve a differential equation (I still can't do that, even after spending every extra hour with my Calculus teacher that I could) or that they can't spell (which, I'm sure they can't given that they have always had spell check), what I'm talking about is common sense.

Now, I've met the people I graduated with, I've had slightly intellectual conversations with people a generation or two above me and I'm not claiming they are geniuses-far from it. However, the more I listen to these "youngsters" of today, I SWEAR I was never that stupid.

Maybe, just maybe, I have become so intelligent that I have surpassed America's average level of common sense. Sorry, I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

I honestly just don't get it. Kids-and by kids I mean people ranging 18-21 years old-are saying ridiculous things. For example:
Chemistry Professor: Now, I know the President has been fired, if you haven't heard about that than you should get on the Internet because it's everywhere, but it won't effect you-the student-at all.
18 Year Old Girl: Wait, like, the President of the University?
I seriously hope this girl is majoring in something that doesn't mean life or death, because if she's a nursing major, her patients are screwed.
Nurse: Wait, like, put my mouth on HIS? But he's like ancient and I'm like not even drunk...yet.

Back in my day-yes I know I sound like an old timer when really, I'm just peeking-people would look at idiots and say, "Think before you speak." What scares me is these modern day morons ARE thinking before they speak and in the small recesses of their minds, they think they are having intelligent thoughts or, at the very least, average thoughts that need to be shared with others! Baffling really.

If someone asks a question, first, think to yourself, do I know the answer? If no, than shut up. If yes, move on, is my answer right? Does it make sense? Can I coherently express this answer out loud? Can I speak in such a way that others will understand? Am I good looking enough that I don't even need to talk? If you REALLY think you have the answer, if your thought/argument is really worth sharing, if you can actually talk to others without them laughing at you or rolling their eyes or staring at your goods, than please, share. BUT be prepared, because even pretty people get mocked.

And that old adage, "There's no such thing as a stupid question"? Yeah, that was from a few generations ago, it no longer applies to today's youth. Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question, so please, think at lease twice before you speak and when in doubt, don't speak at all. Remember, it's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Not following? Okay, it's better to be thought pretty and dumb than ugly and stupid. That should be plain enough for you.

Moron.