Life Lesson #29: TV shows aren't real and can't last forever. *sigh*

It was a sad and dark day in my life when Seinfeld aired it's last episode. However, syndication is a powerful tool and, thus, Festivus lives on. Plus, with the creation of TV on DVD's as well as DVR and NetFlix, shows like FRIENDS and The West Wing can go on forever and ever. Still, when something tragic happens, it is hard to deal with.
I don't know if you have heard the terrible news, and I hate to be the first to break it to you if you haven't, but Det. Elliot Stabler is leaving Law & Order: SVU. I will wait while you gasp, swear and finally slip into a slight coma. He and Det. Olivia Benson have been on the show since it's creation in 1999. I don't understand what's going on, why he's leaving. Really, he's just being selfish. How can he leave Olivia? We've seen ADAs come and go but those two have always been together. They're like PB&J, hot fudge and ice cream, gin and tonic, my mother and insanity, you can't have one without the other.
To make matters worse, it appears that Liv won't be hanging around long either. Though, the longer I think about it, the better it seems. To have Olivia without Elliot will just seem wrong, much like having Dwight without Michael Scott. I'm sure it's exactly what soldiers experience when they lose a limb. Yes, that's right, I just compared Michael Scott and Elliot Stabler to soldiers' amputated limbs, deal with it, I know I can't.
To add salt to the wound (who came up with that expression anyway? Was there seriously some idiot who was like, you know what this gaping wound needs? Salt! I bet that'll clear it right up!), there's talk that Jennifer Love Hewitt will replace Olivia. Seriously? Seriously! I know what she did last summer and it wasn't anything close to acting.

This girl cannot act, cannot sing and can barely model (see above photo). She wasn't convincing in any teen flick she was in! Now that's just sad. How on Earth can she take over as an SVU detective? If I was a victim and she was questioning me, I'd look at her and say, "Really? This is what NYPD has to offer me? Yeah, my perp is definitely getting away." (That's right, I'm down with the SVU slang.) So who do I suggest? (Other than myself, obviously.) Well, let's start with people who can actually act. What about Tina Majorino? (She was in Napoleon Dynamite) She was recently on BONES and did a fantastic job. Or Jennifer Morrison? She was Dr. Cameron on House. Clearly, she can act and play serious roles.
There's also the gaping hole left by the gorgeous, rugged Det. Elliot Stabler. Who's going to fill those shoes? (Why do we always go with shoes? Why not pants? Or shirt? Or holster? What's with the foot fetish?) There's always Matthew Perry who still remains unemployed but talented. Joshua Molina is extremely talented but may be over qualified.
Let's face it, this isn't Bewitched, people are going to notice the switch (Darrin, Samantha's husband on Bewitched, was replaced in the second season and most viewers didn't even notice. How sad.) and the replacements will never be the same as the originals.

Of course, there's always the USA Network and their reliable SVU marathons on Tuesdays and most Sundays. Syndication at it's best. Elliot and Olivia will forever live on. But how will I? Okay, now that's just sad.