This past weekend was a weekend that I had been looking forward to for weeks, so excited that I was skipping in hallways. Princess Buttercup was having her bachelorette party in Minneapolis which was PERFECT (for me, though not for her because it meant that she had to see her dreaded evil soon-to-be sister-in-law) because it meant that I would be able to see Schnookems, Pooper and Ette, all of whom are currently living in Minneapolis or the suburbs. Additionally, I would be able to see Bear and Melman, two of my best guy friends from college. I was beyond excited.
Before leaving, I had to make the obvious arrangements for Gus since apparently it is frowned upon to leave your kid alone with nothing but a bag of Twizzlers and Pork Rhine's (if you haven't picked up on the sarcasm, quit reading because if you think I would actually do that, you need help). My parents don't live in the same town I do but they don't live far, either, so they were more than happy to take him for three days.
*Before we go any further, let me fill you in on my parents. My dad is witty (I get my humor from his side of the family), handsome, smart in the Maths, brought me up with music like Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis and Buddy Holly and sports. Everyone loves my dad. My mom is, well, hard to describe. She is smart in finances and the arts...and is certifiably crazy, never wrong, takes what you say as the complete opposite of what you meant, indecisive and knows what is the best for everyone. She also believes it is okay to feed my son pumpkin pie whenever he wants (It's a vegetable!) and chooses to ignore any and all parenting rules I have. We don't get along.
Gus took off Thursday around suppertime leaving me the night to pack and prep to leave bright and early Friday morning. He literally shoved me out of the car as I was trying to kiss him good-bye. Someone knew he was about to be spoiled.
I could barely contain my excitement for the weekend as I headed towards the Twin Cities. While I couldn't wait to see my girlfriends, I have to admit I was most excited to see Bear. Bear is the One Who Got Away. We met Freshman year in college and have been great friends ever since though we never dated. Of course, I didn't realize how completely in love I was until I moved away. Seriously, it's a Lifetime Movie waiting to happen. I've been trying to think who should play me but no one comes to mind so I'll just play myself and Mark Salling can play Bear. (Whether or not they resemble each other doesn't matter, all that matters is that in the movie, there are plenty of sex scenes between us)
ANYWAY, I asked Bear to be my date to Princess Buttercup's wedding. He said yes as long as he could get off work. I was so jacked, like the picture of that little girl I posted, she got nothing on me. My mind was reeling with all the possibilities, plus Friday was spent driving to the cities and what else is there to do in the car but daydream about how gloriously wonderful our reunion would be, the love that would be in the air at the wedding, the hot sex that would ensue...
Spoiler Alert: None of that happened and none of that will be happening.Boys suck, they really truly suck. I haven't asked any lesbians but I'm guessing that girls can suck at life too but since I'm straight, I'm just going with the guys on this one.
I got into town, had a glorious reunion with Schnookems and Pooper who were kind enough to understand that I wanted to go and see Bear. Bear and I had plans to have brunch on Saturday but since he didnt' have to work until late Friday night, I saw no reason why I shouldn't hurry my ass over there to start our reunion early, which I promptly did. Enter Melman (if you want to picture Melman like this, that's fine, it's how I usually picture him:
Melman and I were introduced through Bear and immediately started, not dating, just drunkenly hooking up and not even drunkenly having sex, just making out. Either way, it only lasted one Fall Semester before we put that aside and just went on being friends. Yes, it can actually happen. We stayed in touch even though we haven't seen each other since 2007. He now lives with Bear and was one helluva cock blocker all Friday night. I wasn't too mad at him, no one can ever get too mad at Melman, and it WAS great to see him after all those years but I really just wanted some alone time with Bear. Yeah, never really happened. However, I did find out that he is not going to the wedding (I don't believe in hanging onto the 30% chance that he'll make it) and Melman was joining us for brunch the following day. I never was able to figure out if Melman invited himself or if Bear was like, "Dude, you have to come and be the third wheel so she doesn't think it's a date or anything." Either way, I was not happy.
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