I was never a person who looked longingly at my days in high school, wishing I could go back to those times. I don't cherish them above others. I certainly don't think they were the best days of my life. I have never thought "I would give anything to go back". Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hated high school. I have some great memories from high school and I have some horrific ones. Since I grew up in a smaller town, the friends I had in high school were pretty much the same friends I had in grade school and middle school. We were a close-knit group of girls (and guys) who swore we'd remain that way till the end of time. *sigh* Even Zack Attack didn't stay together forever.
The thing is, people change, at least, you HOPE people change. The sad fact of life is, not everyone does. Some people remain the same person they were in high school. They peak during those four years and that, my stalking friends, is really rather sad.
Maybe it's because they peaked in high school or maybe it's because when they went to college, they pretty much just went to high school. Not following? The majority of kids I graduated high school with went to either College A or College B, once there, they just continued to hang out with the exact same group of friends, only branching out to include people who they competed against in high school sports, people who were exactly like them. So basically, it was high school all over again, just with more booze, more sex and no parents. It gave most of them no reason to grow up, no reason to change. And now, despite the passing of 7 years, they are still stuck in high school.
What brought all of this on? Well, I went to one of my dear friends', that is actually a sincere comment, bridal shower this past Saturday. I've known her since kindergarten and she's been a great friend all these years. Her out of her 5 bridesmaids, 4 of them are old friends of mine (the fifth is the groom's sister). All three of the four are still stuck in high school but put them all together and all of them have re-vertigo, a term I picked up from 'How I Met Your Mother'. It means they revert back to the age they were when they best got along...in this case, high school.
I'm at a bridal shower, I'm 25 years old, my son is with me, I'm surrounded by other adults and yet these girls chose to bring up past indiscretions or, jokingly, call me a slut or whore? Really? This isn't a bachelorette party, no one's drunk, and, wait, we're not teenagers or at a kegger. Grow the f up.
Maybe spend a weekend not being drunk off your ass? Maybe have a conversation about politics instead of pop culture? Maybe know what's going on in our country besides sports or celebrities? Can we have a serious conversation about health care or kids or taxes or housing or SOMETHING other than the fricking past or who's sleeping with whom? How about just once we don't gossip about the same group of people we've been gossiping about for the past 17 years!
Sadly, not every one grows up although people do grow apart. The friends you grow up with probably won't be the ones you grow old with. The girl who's with you when you first have you heart broken probably isn't going to be the first one you call when you get engaged. The one you play dolls with probably isn't going to be your first visitor in the Maternity Wing. The girls who know all of your secrets, the ones you take your first drink with, swear you'll be best friends forever with, they aren't going to be the ones who help you raise your children, the ones you call when your spouse is driving you nuts or when you just want to cry.
The people who get you through high school, yes, they are important and they should be loved and cherished...but sometimes they should be let go. High school, it's come and gone, sometimes people have a hard time letting go of that. It's nice to have memories of the past, just make sure you don't live there because if you're living in the past, you're missing the present and what kind of future is that?