The reason I have moved is I am going back to school in order to get a degree in English Education. I am unable to do this, going to school full-time, with a toddler and work 40+ hrs a week. I have quit my job and moved back in with my parents so that I can get my college degree and get a real adult job. After months of debating, numerous discussions with friends and plenty of positive/negative lists, I decided to bit the bullet, swallow my pride and move back in with the rents. "Hi, my name is Ms. Humble, I am unemployed and I live with my parents."
It will take me 2, 2.5 years at the most to finish up. My thinking was this was the best thing for not only myself but definitely for my child. This way, after I have my degree, I will be financially free of the government (as in welfare, not in loans), my parents won't have ANY control over me/my finances and I can FINALLY get out of this Godforsaken State.
That all being said, I have been living on and off with my parents for the past two weeks, slowly moving my crap here and I NEED TO GET OUT. To say they are driving me insane would be a vast understatement. My mother is being worse than normal, somethin I didn't even think was possible. She, of course, thinks she is doing loads better. I know this because she tells me frequently how well she is behaving. She also has an annoying way of telling me how to parent, of saying things to Gus as a way of not saying things to me (I can't believe your mom hasn't picked up your room!"), my dad thinks Gus can pretty much have whatever he wants as long as he says please and whenever I tell Gus no, they both swoop in to tell him yes! And yes, I have talked to both of them, individually AND together, to explain that they cannot interfer with my parenting. They say they understand but they don't. I feel as if I am repeatedly ramming my head into a wall. I guess my definition of insanity is talking to my parents and expecting their behavior to change.
*sigh* It's already a struggle. I am hoping beyond hope (no, I don't know what that means, I guess just hoping super bad? But can you hope just a little bit? Are there different levels of hoping? Wow, way too much time out in the sun) that things will get better once I go back to school and I'm not stuck in the house all day. Plus, Gus hasn't been in daycare the entire month of July and is going crazy and driving me crazy. He needs other kids to intereact with and since he doesn't have any, he is terrorizing my parents' Corgis and has become an Uber Mama's Boy. I love him to death but everyone needs some alone time.
Despite helping my mom around the house by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. she isn't all too appreciative. Her view is it's what I should be doing, afterall she did it for me for how many years plus I should be helping out around the house. I agree, I'm a big girl, I should be pulling my weight but that doesn't mean that you can't chip in a Thank You every now and than or explain to me in a nice way that you want certain shirts hung instead of dried rather than yelling or talking down to me. I'm fed up with her, can you tell?!
Possibly the worst part is I miss my friends :( Princess Buttercup is off being Susie Homemaker, Cocoa Von Hoffman is baking a bun back in the town I left, Schnookems and Pooper are even further away now as is Ette. Yes, you should take a good 15-20 minute break right now to pity me. I will wait. Did you maybe light a candle, too? Pray for me? Send me love and light? Hey, I'll take whatever I can get. I'm hoping that I'll be able to visit everyone more now that I'm not working, especially over the Holidays but I'll probably end up taking some part-time job because, ya know, money's important and shit. Stupid stupid stupid.
I suppose I should quit writing and get back to reality. Bummer. Reality sucks. I wish my life were a musical...